How to Be a Positive Influence on Your Daughter

This week in GOTR we’re talking about being a positive person, both to ourselves and to others. One of the best ways you can be a positive influence on your daughter is to be a positive influence yourself. What might this look like?

1)      Be a role model – you know when parents tell their kids, “Do what I say, not what I do?” that actually doesn’t work. If you want your daughter to act in a positive way, she needs to see you acting like you want her to act. Want her to say “please” and “thank you?” Be prepared to do it yourself. J

2)      Take her perspective – sometimes raising a child can be very frustrating. As the parent, you think you always know best – and most of the time you probably do – but your daughter might not always see it that way. Try stepping into her shoes the next time you disagree about something. Understanding her perspective can help both of you see the right thing to do in any situation.

3)      Praise her for her good behavior – a lot of times we don’t notice the good stuff, we only pay attention when someone does something wrong. Reinforcing positive behavior through praise helps your daughter know you value that behavior in her. Next time she does her chores, say thank you!

4)      Realize that she’s not an adult yet – yes, she may act like she’s 9 going on 20, but she’s still 9. Remember what life was like when you were 9? As our brains don’t fully develop until we’re 25, what may seem like a very bad idea to an adult can make perfect sense to your daughter. Cut her a little slack. Just make sure she understands your perspective on why what she did was wrong.

5)      Your actions speak louder than your words – it’s more than teaching your daughter how to be positive, you have to be a positive person too. A friend of mine once asked me, “So telling my daughter that weight doesn’t matter while she sees me berating myself as I weigh every morning probably isn’t good parenting, right?” Bingo.


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